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Hi Baby Talk Radio listeners this
is Iris Waichler, author of Riding the Infertility Rollercoaster: a Guide
to Educate and Inspire. I’ve been talking about a number of infertility
issues. Today I wanted to talk about bridging the gap between the fertile
and infertile world. As I’ve been walking around this summer I’ve noticed a
lot of pregnant woman and young babies.
When you’re battling infertility;
holidays like Mother’s day, Father’s Day, children’s birthday parties, baby
showers or seeing a pregnant woman on the street can trigger feelings of
isolation, sadness, anger and grief. How can you deal with it when a
friend, a sibling or a relative or an in-law is pregnant? How can you
handle these difficult situations that can create such high anxiety and
sadness?
Here are some suggestions that I
hope you will find helpful as you ride your own individual infertility
rollercoaster. Sometimes you have to say no and turn down invitations where
you know there may be babies or lots of kids there. If people hosting are
aware of your infertility treatment you can simply explain that these
situations are emotionally difficult for you in the midst of your
infertility treatment and you really appreciate that they understand.
You may also want to set an
alternative date to visit the family or friends. You might want to make
plans to do something special with just you and your partner or trusted
family and friends who you can be with them and feel comfortable. I also
recommend that on holidays that may be difficult create your own special
celebration or tradition that offers relief and comfort; it might be a quiet
dinner, a walk on the beach or a warm bath.
Maybe plan a trip out of town
when these special occasions. If you are going to a gathering that may be
difficult you may want to talk ahead of time with the family or friends that
are hosting. Discuss the possibility that you may feel uncomfortable and
you may feel the need to quietly leave early and that you hope that they
will understand.
Some people choose holidays as a
time to do volunteer work which can help reenergize you and help focus
outside of yourself and your treatment. You can also contact local resolve
chapters and learn about counselors, peers or support groups in your area.
Often these groups are free or have minimal cost.
Just talking with other people
experiencing similar feelings really helps and normalizes what you are
feeling. It breaks down those barriers of isolation that can easily be
imposed on yourself. This can also be a great source of comfort for many
people. I hope you find my tips useful as you continue your own infertility
journey.
Try to remember that you are not
alone and do what you can to create parameters in your day to day life that
will help you build a workable bridge between you and the infertile and
fertile world. Good luck on your journey.
