Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

American Greeting has created a new resource for us busy Moms.  It’s a free online calendar that you can use to record and be reminded of all of your important family events. It’s easy to use and you can even share your events with others.

Birthdays, Anniversaries, First Dates, the day you found out your were pregnant.  Get creative and be reminded of some of those events that you can forget about as the years go by.  You can even use it as a family schedule keeper and have reminders sent to you via email or through your cell phone.

Baby’s first tooth, first word, first steps.  New mommies can keep track of everything they want to remember about their new baby.  I think this could be a lot of fun!  Get your own free online calendar here.

New mothers often feel overwhelmed by all the new responsibilities thrust upon them. Between bottles and diaper changes, you can easily lose yourself amongst it all. What’s worse is that moms often feel like they have to do it all on their own. If you’re tired of being Super Mom, let me share with you a few reasons why you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help.

Reason #1: You deserve a break. Moms are busy people. We take on a lot of tasks and often don’t get much credit or recognition for them. Moms work 24 hours a day, rarely getting breaks. Allow yourself to take a break every now and again.

Reason #2: You can’t do it all by yourself. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it’s just the opposite, a sign of strength. Someone once said that no man (or mama) is an island. Oh how true this is! There is no way you could do everything by yourself, and if you did you would be exhausted so ask for help and feel good doing it.

Reason #3: They want to help you. If there is no other reason for you to ask for help, remember this one: your family and friends want to help you. That’s right—they want to. I’ve heard family members of so many new mothers say that they would love to help, but the mom never asks for help. Sometimes people don’t want to feel like they’re intruding so be proactive in asking for help.  When friends and family ask if there is anything they can do to help say yes.  If people ask you what you would like as a gift, mention housecleaning vouchers (or ask a close friend or relative to spread the word for you).

Reason #4: Being a “good” mom means taking care of you. Last, but certainly not least, asking for help does not mean that you are a bad mother. Lots of moms refuse help because they think others will view them as terrible parents for doing so. This couldn’t be further from the truth. A good mother knows when she needs help and isn’t afraid to ask for it. She knows when she needs a break. A good mother also knows that she needs to take care of herself first in order to keep the family going.